Dear Stranger,
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I look like I cried my eyes out last night, (which, for the record, I did, thanks to betrayal by a bestie in PUBG). As a result, they look bloodshot, tired and Chester Bennington-numb.
And the worst part is I can’t even open them. They seem pretty permanently stuck with some bodily glue that would give fevicol some serious competition. It took me the best part of five minutes to unstick those rebelliously snapped shut eyes of mine. And now the second challenge of the day: to sit upright for the zoom call at 8:30.
It is 8:26 and I am still fumbling for my spectacles. I have to brush, prop myself up on the pillows, try not to look groggy, open the laptop-enter the password-connect to the internet-open outlook and zoom!
Phew! So much excitement early in the morning!
By the way, who on earth starts work at 8:30 for God’s sake?
Well, the Dark Lord does. Starting the call with an infectious (don’t like to use the word much nowadays, but what the heck):
“Good morning!
Hope you have conferred with your teams and planned early for the day!
(When? At 8 am? Is this guy for real?)
Hope your squads are already on the ground achieving targets bright and early!
(For those who don’t know, I work in the sales department)
Hope today will be the BIGGEST day ever with unprecedented targets being achieved!
(FYI: Every day for him is a big day)
Let me hear some heartening stories and some resolutions for today!
(Everything he says seems to be followed by an exclamation mark or two)
Any big plans, team?!
(My biggest plan is to go back to sleep the moment he cuts the call)”
And then a string of minions begin talking about how they would hit the field early and achieve some big numbers. How the on-ground team is totally pumped up and enthused about accomplishing something big and breaking all records…
Sometimes I think this team thrives on energy. If there was a penny for the kind of energy that is exhibited in the meetings and calls, I am quite sure we would not need sales to be profitable. Energy we had in abundance. Empty directionless energy.
Except me, though. I probably look like a junkie. Red-rimmed eyes. Sunken cheeks. Sleep-deprivation writ large on my face.
Once the war cries have been sounded and every stormtrooper has laid bare their detailed plans for the attack, the Dark Lord makes his BIG announcement for the BIG day.
“We have a surprise for you all. Especially for the troops on ground.”
My interest is suddenly piqued. Sleep threatens to assume second place as I wonder if he really is going to announce some incentives for the on-field teams. I wait with bated breath.
“Here is a video thanking our warriors – our champion forces!”
Then he plays a cloying clipping of all the troops working with fake smiles plastered on their faces, ending with a big thank you to our ‘champ warriors’.
“Let’s give our amazing warriors a resounding applause. They are the ones who keep our warships afloat!”
Everyone claps hard. Real effing hard. Of course, the harder the claps the more committed to business they are, right?
“But what about the incentives?”
A teeny tiny voice somehow manages to break through the din miraculously.
“Who is that?” The Dark Lord’s voice booms across the call.
My blood chills to the bone and suddenly the idea of keeping mum seems really attractive.
To be honest, had that been me, I would have fled (switched off my video, at any rate) but it was this brave valiant fighter, who refused to back down.
“Boss, I wanted to know if the incentives would be paid this month, seeing the overarching pandemic situation…”
“What were the amount of sales done this month?” His questions came thick and fast. “May I know what your plan of attack is?”
“Three of the salesmen in my team were afflicted with the virus, Boss. And they are expecting their hard-earned incentives at least after two months. It was promised to them.”
“You didn’t answer my question. I asked what is your sales plan? You are answering something completely irrelevant.”
I realize then that it wouldn’t make any difference but I decide to give it a try all the same. I am the rogue girl, after all.
“Lord, we could give them some incentives. That would be more beneficial for them than a symbolic appreciation.”
The Dark Lord looks at me as if he would burn me through the zoomcall if he could.
“Incentives?!” His voice was high and dismissive. “Do you think we are the government? And well, the government doesn’t seem to have much of a financial backup plan anyway, does it? If the government is satisfied with symbolic assistance, what are you expecting us to do?”
The truth hit me hard. I had forgotten that there are forces darker than the Dark Lord in the Universe. There is the Big Brother taking data, information, taxes, freedom…well I better keep mum.
The questions remain stuck in my throat.
What can a single rogue girl do?
Feeling dark and rebellious,
The Rogue Stormtrooper
